The coronavirus has cast a pall over the country. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has urged Americans to cancel events with 50 or more people, and President Trump has declared the COVID-19 outbreak a national emergency.
The need for extreme social distancing to prevent our hospitals and our healthcare system from being overwhelmed and brought to the breaking point may mean that this emergency extends throughout the summer, Trump warns.
The stock market, meanwhile, has lost nearly a third of its value (32 percent) since Feb. 12. As a point of comparison, “between Oct. 24 and Nov. 13, 1929 [at the start of the Great Depression], stocks fell by 33 percent,” reports Bloomberg’s Joe Nocera.
During such depressing times, it is important to find instances of levity or black humor to help relieve the stress and anxiety that threaten us all. Here are two such instances that we think will bring a smile to your face.
First, you know things have gotten bad when even Islamist terrorist groups are warning their adherents to avoid London, Milan, and Paris because, well, it’s gotten too damn dangerous there!
Second, professional and collegiate athletes have all been canceled. March Madness? Gone! Spring Training? Hasta la vista! Opening Day? Not this year!
Professional basketball and hockey? No dice! The PGA Tour? Forget about it! The Kentucky Derby? Not in Kentucky and not in any of these United States!
Heck, even professional bowling (if that’s your thing) probably has been canceled, given the CDC’s edict—er, I mean, recommendation!—against gatherings of 50 or more people.
Yet, not to worry: ESPN “has you covered” with 24/7 programming. But covered with what, exactly? Not sports, because there are none anymore. Instead, ESPN has you covered with wall-to-wall bloviation!
Now, look: I love Stephen A. Smith as much as the next red-blooded-American sports fan. But as good as he is—and he is very good—there’s only so much of him that you can take in any one day or week.
Ditto Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon. Pardon the Interruption and perish the thought; but what, exactly, are they gonna argue about if there’s nothing happening in the sports world to argue about?
The good old days? The 1969 Mets? The ’85 Bears? Dentures? Their latest hip replacement surgery? I mean: Come on, man!
Feature photo credit: The Patriot Post.
